Filthy

Guides

Plain answers to the things people look up privately before they ask anyone. No jargon for its own sake, and nothing dressed up.

Your first time at a club

What actually happens, from the car park to the taxi home — and why it’s usually calmer than you’re imagining.

Door policies, decoded

What “couples and single females”, “on-premise” and “by invitation” actually mean, and why clubs word it that way.

Soft swap, full swap, and the bit in between

The vocabulary people use, what it does and doesn’t pin down, and why your version is the only one that matters.

How to have the conversation first

The bit that decides how the rest goes — including what to do when one of you is keener than the other.

What’s on this month →

Where this applies

The guides are about UK clubs generally — the door policies, the etiquette and the vocabulary travel. What differs is the venues themselves, so here’s where we’ve got them:

There are more clubs than this. The ones we haven’t confirmed details for are listed by name and town on the clubs index rather than given a page we’d have to guess at.

Missing something you wanted answered? Tell us and we’ll write it.

Browse clubs and nights →